ATTACHMENT
Our understanding of who we are in relationship to the world and other people develops out of the attachment we have to our parent(s) or primary caregiver(s) as children. Major stressors or trauma as well as significant support and connection from other people can dramatically shift this understanding no matter the quality of attachment. Parents are often doing the best they can and that can still not be enough sometimes.
If you have ever thought, “I do not deserve love. I will never be chosen. I am too much. I am too broken. I always mess things up.”
When we hear and see these negative core beliefs play out, they often look like chronic relationship issues, isolation, co-dependency or enmeshment. These are often signs that there may have been childhood needs that were not met and as a result they are replaying in current relationships and keeping you stuck.
The challenge is that, if this is you, your relationships may not last long enough to allow you to replace those negative beliefs, and in turn, actually end up reinforcing the negative beliefs. That is where we come in.
Some people focus on changing behavior, but the inside-out work of changing those beliefs often requires a deeper work in relationship. Attachment Therapy is a form of therapy that views the development of the therapeutic relationship as a representation of your patterns of relating, going as far back as childhood. As someone who is trained in identifying these patterns and addressing them thoughtfully, we work with you to begin new patterns with us first. With positive, reparative experiences reinforcing these new patterns, you start to feel empowered to apply them to your relationships outside of therapy.
Because the nature of this therapy is relationship and attachment-based, the course of treatment often requires at least a year commitment and may necessitate meeting more than once a week.